God is not in control

Step into my disorderly mind for a minute.  In which you bounce back and forth between all sorts of problems.   

Israel and Palestine.  Landslide in India.  Kidnapped Nigerian girls.  North Korean generational prisons.  Systematic racial discrimination in the US.  Latin American children fleeing gang violence.  Ebola in West Africa.

My reality - the one I SEE on a daily basis - is nothing like any of this.  I see mainly orderly automobile traffic with the occasional jerk.  I see people peacefully walking the streets, going about their daily lives.  I see friendly smiles, and small kind gestures.

This creates a constant tension inside of me - the reality I experience is so different from the reality other people experience.  Things that must seem like the End of the World to people where and when they live, but that the rest of us are just basically ignoring. What then is common or fundamental to humanity?

We all still think and talk quite a fair amount about WWII.  People like to exaggerate by comparing things to the Holocaust and Hitler.  It seems like this particular conflict, the lessons learned from it, the ongoing questions it raises for everyone to consider, will just always remain a part of the human memory now.  But there were things that were that major to other people, in various places, hundreds and even thousands of years ago, that we have forgotten all about.  So maybe the things we think so much about will rather vanish from the collective consciousness also.

If I were a doctor treating the Ebola virus, I would feel pretty helpless.  Frustrated over my lack of ability to cure the disease.  Wishing I had more CONTROL.

I am me, and I still wish I had more control.  I wish I could stop my migraines.  I wish I could be certain of eliminating all ringworm spores from the house.

God... could.  He COULD have created a world in which none of these things existed, but in which we were not the free beings that we are.  As a risk-averse person, who is extremely bothered by all forms of suffering, it's hard for me to see how he found that trade-off worth it.

But what struck me today was that when we are faced with problems too big for us, and we have that frustration, it's because we JUST CAN'T control things.  Well, God COULD have controlled EVERYTHING, but he doesn't.  He chose not to.  He chose to put limits on what he would do with his power, just in order to give us that freedom.  But like, don't you think if we feel frustrated with our powerlessness, he must feel something sort of like that in the face of his own choice?  Imagine how much self-restraint it would take to see all of this and NOT INTERVENE, even though you COULD.  It must be awful.  Not only do people suffer because of the fact that we are free beings who chose badly, but, so does He.  I mean, besides the other ways we knew about already, like the cross.  I'm pretty sure I don't know any human being who would have that much SELF-CONTROL, to NOT control what else they could. 

I still don't get it, why he thinks this is worth all that.  But apparently he does.  He's willing to not be in control so that we can freely choose love.  This is something I can't quite get my mind around.

Down with racism

Lately we've had some incredibly bad, blatant examples of racism.  Cliven Bundy giving us the lame old idea that black people were better off as slaves.  Donald Sterling, LA Clippers owner, on tape berating his (black and Mexican) girlfriend for publicizing herself with black people (MAGIC JOHNSON being the case in question).  This comes not so far off the heels of the Supreme Court telling us we don't need the Voting Rights Act anymore, because things are different now.  Want to reconsider that whole "racism-is-over" thing, John Roberts?

In the murder mysteries I enjoy, some of the great fictional detectives such as Lord Peter Wimsey suggest that the murders we hear about are only the failures.  The really successful murderers not only don't get caught, but they murder people cleverly enough that we don't even know a murder has been committed in the first place.  These successful murders, he argues, may represent a far larger portion of all murders than the "failures".  Whether or not this is really true about murder, I think it's highly likely that it is true about racism.  For every Cliven Bundy or Donald Sterling, how many more racists are hiding in the shadows, concealing what they know are politically incorrect thoughts and feelings, not getting caught?

The majority of white people, I hope and believe, are not racist and are horrified by these recent statements.  Sometimes, in some circles - like the highly educated ones that John Roberts must move in - the majority can seem so much like unanimity that we forget how far we still have to go.  But the racists who get caught may not just be the only few out there. Not a majority, but enough to be a real problem that needs to be addressed.  But when race does come up for discussion, most non-racist white people feel vaguely guilty and self-conscious, unsure what to say... so we say nothing, even though we know that when we don't stand up against racism, we basically help it along.  Well, it's just not good enough to let African-Americans fight this fight by themselves.  White racists EXPECT them to react negatively.  But they may believe that most other white people secretly agree with them.  They may think that those hidden racists are actually a majority. So let's not let them believe that.  Let's stand up and say how unacceptable and untrue these racist statements are. "I'm white, and I'm not afraid of becoming a minority.  I'm white, and I oppose what you're saying, Cliven Bundy and Donald Sterling. I'm white, and I am NOT OK WITH RACISM."

CS Lewis had it wrong

I recently re-read "A Grief Observed" (because Marty, the greatest cat ever to live, the pinnacle of all creation, died on March 16).  If you don't know, CS Lewis wrote these musings in notebooks after the death of his wife, just to vent basically, and later decided they might be helpful to people, so published them.

Well, one of the things he talked about was loved ones meeting up again in heaven.  He referred to people having this idea of a "happy reunion on the other shore" and how it can't be right, because, it makes heaven about our loved ones instead of about God.  He made the point that if it were best for his wife - for himself - for all of us - that we not even know each other again - never see each other again - we should willingly assent to that.  And talked about how God should be our one desire.  I guess, you know, so we're not idolatrous - wanting to see our loved ones and not really caring about seeing God. (!)  Which is alright as far as it goes.  Ok, so he didn't maybe have it WRONG so much as maybe he wasn't seeing as much as he could at the time, and I wish I could have suggested the following to him then.

I think he had the wrong picture, and I sort of think he must have forgotten some of his own other writings (hello, The Last Battle) - which I'm wondering if God had him write because it was hard for him to remember sometimes and so it was good for him to have written them to look back on.  I think the picture of the "happy reunion" he had in mind when he was grieving and which he felt was wrong was like, lovers having been apart for a long time and seeing each other again.  So the focus is on what's over, kind of, and how hard it was, and themselves and their love.  But I've got a different picture.  Imagine instead a wedding of an old college friend.  You come into a town and you see so many of your old friends, people you haven't been absolutely aching for, maybe, but whom it's always pleasant to see again, and you're there for the wedding, and the pleasure of seeing your old friends and the joy of one of them getting married just enhance each other.  Or again, suppose my sister's family and I were to plan a trip to Disney together or something.  We see each other with reasonable frequency, but if we were to meet up at the airport, don't you think the pleasures of seeing each other and looking forward to the fun of the trip would make for a sum more than the parts?  I think it's like that - a reunion not for reunion's sake - but for a larger purpose.  I think we will be excited about this larger purpose, this big new thing that's starting - but that that joy will be enhanced by the reunions with those we haven't seen in awhile, by getting to embark on the new journey with those we love.  Hopefully, including the pets.  I think, yeah we shouldn't be grasping too hard at any one thing besides God, and that's not unimportant, but, after you get past that, I think... I think WE GET TO HAVE IT ALL, in the end.  I think He's That Good.